How to Stop Your Emotions from Controlling You

Writer Mary Wollstonecraft said, “When we feel deeply, we reason profoundly.” These are wise words for those of us trying to understand the intelligence of our emotions. This blog post provides tips and suggestions on how to stop your emotions from controlling you.

Science has now shown that certain parts of our brain specialize in processing emotional information; these parts are somewhat distinct from those responsible for intellect. Further, the different regions may not always work in concert; we may experience feelings and not understand why. Modern neuroscience has validated classical analytic theories about the power of unconscious feelings to drive our actions, Heartsometimes without ever surfacing into our awareness.

Pascal famously said that “the heart has a reason that reason cannot know,” anticipating both Freud and those modern neuroscientists who have demonstrated the existence of unconscious feelings. But Pascal underestimated the power of the human intellect to comprehend mysterious and elusive things, feelings included. Now that thousands of scientists are focusing their intellect on the mysteries of emotion, reason is finally starting to comprehend the reasons of the heart.

Human beings have highly developed reasoning centers housed in the neocortex (the most recently evolved part of the brain), which offer the ability to experience complex emotions, such as: love, vengeance and anger.  But the capacity to experience these complex emotions profoundly act on them rationally and in a measured way is a skill worth developing – one that requires  patience, practice, contemplation and reflection.

Nine strategies for helping to stop your emotions from controlling you:

1)    Become a good judge of your own mood:  Just as you weigh yourself when you begin a diet, then track your weight as you progress, so you should learn to track your mood.

2)    Exercise in moderation

3)    Take control of those aspects of your life that you can:  Just knowing that you have some ability to improve your life can help pacify intense emotions. Even if you choose to stay in difficult situations, such as a bad marriage or job, you have taken some steps to regain control.

Yoga-meditation4)    Tackle stress by practicing relaxation, meditation and yoga

5)    Seek out social support systems

6)    Selectively consider appropriate herbs, nutrients and supplements

7)    Attend to your sleep and stay rested

8)    Alter your environmental light, especially when days are short and dark, which can be conducive to depression.

9)    Avoid alcohol and beware of drugs, substances that can give you the illusion of control in the short run, but aggravate the situation down the line.

Finally, enjoy and appreciate your feelings. It is by recognizing and thinking deeply about our emotions that we are able to reach the most important decisions of our lives.

Wishing you Light and Transcendence,


Additional Articles/resources You Might Enjoy:

Seven Tell-Tale Signs of Depression in a Friend or Loved One

Emotional Intelligence: 10 Ways to Enhance Yours

Taking Care of You

10 Replies to “How to Stop Your Emotions from Controlling You”

  1. C.Rajeev says:

    It is widely accepted that the correct periods for doing TM or any type of spiritual activity is during “Dawn” and “Dusk” in a day.

    “Dawn” is the period between (5:30AM and 7:30AM) and “Dusk” is the period between (5:30PM and 7:30PM) .

    This is the period in which the Sun rises and sets and during this interval, the mind of a human being is taken to a meditative mode in a spontaneous manner,without much efforts.

    This is probably the Law of Nature.

    These two timings are applicable to any geographical location, irrespective of the country.

    I hope every TM practitioner will agree with me, based on their own personal experiences.

    Further, this is also the time in which students learn their lessons, and musicians practice their musical instruments.

    Logically, in other periods of the day, everyone is busy with their duties and they cannot sit for meditation or prayer.

  2. C.Rajeev says:

    Good meditators feel that even after the end of one TM session, they want to stay calm, for some more time, without any external distractions.

    The mind which was calm during the practice of TM, prefers to stay calm even after the practice.

    This shows that the TM session is successful.

    Fine melodious music, and a perfect fragrance ( aroma) in the place of meditation will certainly give a positive influence on the meditator.

    Rattling music, and a bad odor in the surroundings ( and in the body) will not be conducive to meditation.

    The meditator can take a bath before the practice of TM, in order to make the practice more effective.

    I hope I am right.

  3. Dr. Rae says:

    Thank you Dr. Norman for sharing your position on this important life-issue.

    Not acting from emotions works for me, and those I work with since by their very nature emotions are irrational!

  4. C Rajeev says:

    I feel that the Meditator should observe some regulations in order to make it more effective.

    Such regulations include abstinence from smoking, alcohol, drugs, etc

    Meditators should avoid watching excessive TV, Video and Internet, since I feel that these electronic media are like a double edged weapon, which has both good and bad.

    I was instructed by my T M teachers to refrain from certain bad traits compulsorily viz., watching detrimental TV / video content, etc in order that my TM experience is pleasant.

    If a person watches violence in TV, the viewer feels mentally stressed at least for the time being.

    Hence, for all meditators abstinence from certain bad traits and cultivation of virtues is a must.

    Hope I am right.

    Without regulation, there is no Yoga.

  5. C Rajeev says:

    The electronic media such as TV, video, mobile phones and Internet. Are doing a lot of harm to the global society, while being beneficial on the other side.

    Many global citizens are misusing these media. Advanced countries are trying to rehabilitate such addicts.

    We should develop the ability to discriminate between the good and the bad in life.

  6. C Rajeev says:

    Based on my personal experience for many years, my suggestion for people is to go out of their house, on small picnics, on a low budget.

    When we get a chance to be in an entirely different environment from our routine type, we feel automatically relaxed.

    The change of environment will have a positive effect on the psychology of an individual.

  7. C Rajeev says:

    Anger is a great deterrent to any meditator. The very presence of anger clearly indicates that the meditator has not reached the proper level of maturity and blissful consciousness in its true nature.

    If someone is very greedy about money, then also he or she is not an ideal Yogi.

    If someone is much concerned about cheap pleasures in life, he or she has not made much progress in Yoga or Meditation.

    These are some of the yardsticks to identify an ideal Yogi.

  8. C Rajeev says:

    Regular practice of TM will certainly reduce what is called “mind chatter”.

    When the mind is tense, the person feels as if some conversation is going on inside the mind.

    They may also feel some visuals running in the mind screen.

    Some people are in the habit of talking aloud when there is no one to listen to.

    These indicate that the person is mentally restless.

    Listening to relaxing music and regular TM will certainly solve the problem.

  9. C Rajeev says:

    It is quite true that conflicting and challenging situations in life are really a boon to form new strategies in life.

    A curse is nothing but a blessing in disguise.

    A student learns his lessons with much efforts in order to secure high scores in the exam.

    Everyone has to make some effort to see some progress in any level of life.

    Even if it is the practice of TM, one has to make the effort of allocating twenty minutes, twice daily.

    Once a Student asked a Spiritual master whether he can see God.
    The master immersed the head of the student in water for some time. The student forced his head out of the water and shouted at the Guru.

    The teacher said, ” If you have the same yearning to see God in real life, you will be able to see Him” .

    Similarly, in order to come up in life, one has to make efforts initially.

    After a certain stage of development, progress comes automatically.


  10. C Rajeev says:

    Crisis management is an important one, like Time management and Anger management.

    We should know to act wisely in times of crisis and calamities.

    If our mind is calm, we can take wise decisions.

    When we give ourselves to anger, the situations worsen further.

    We should learn to adjust the available time for various activities in our routine.

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